It used to be Ann Landers and Dear Abby, now it’s Rhona. Do they really help?
These columns are put in the Life section of the newspaper, I suppose, for their entertainment value. I wonder if anyone ever seriously thinks they can solve their problems by the advice they get from these sources.
There are a number of problems with the advice columns. Let’s start with the most obvious: they are too short! How can someone give good solid advice about a serious problem when all you know about the problem is the briefest of paragraphs? Even if someone writes in with a detailed letter that is edited down to fit the column, how can the advisor know about the circumstances to really offer anything close to wisdom?
Let me let you in on a little secret. They can’t!
Besides being too short, one wonders about the quality of advice these newspaper columnists can give. The problems addressed often involve what appear to be very complicated problems. The columnists offer very short answers. I have read some recently (I confess that I do look at them once in a while!). Most of the questions sent in to such columns have to do with marriage and relationships. The columnists often seem quite ready to dismiss relationships fairly quickly. Do they really know what they are saying?
The questions you see in these columns today also often seem to highlight fairly bizarre relationships and their problems. Maybe it is just me (maybe I have gotten old??), but it seems that there is an interest in describing rather prurient topics. Are relationships today really like this? And if they are, surely the people writing in (if there really are people writing in) need much more than a few paragraphs of advice in a newspaper.
Where should someone turn for advice?
There are many professional counsellors in the world. Some are better than others, most charge fees, some take their own bizarre approaches to life and are no better than the newspaper columnists. If you pursue help for problems from this class of advisors, you will need to be discerning (and be able to pay for it).
Christian pastors and churches often offer counselling services with less cost, but of course you know that old saying, “You get what you pay for.” Often the advice you will receive from these sources will be rooted in life experience and common sense rather than formal training. Some pastors are very good, others are not so good.
And all human counsellors have a common problem: their humanity! That is, they are all quite capable of making hasty judgements, speaking before they learn all the facts, being manipulated, and so on.
Here is what I think you should do if you have some life problems you really need advice to overcome. First, get involved in a good church and seek out Bible answers to your problems. If you will learn the Bible yourself, you will have a good barometer with which to evaluate anyone’s counsel. Second, as you get involved in a good church, get to know those on the staff or in the congregation who have good spiritual sense. Seek them out, and try to follow their pattern for living. Many of the problems you have may go away of their own accord in this way.
But some problems do require more formal approaches. Be sure to test everything by the Bible, but do find a good Bible-believing pastor who can point you to Bible-based solutions or to another counsellor who can do the same.
This all presupposes, of course, that you come to believe the Bible. The Bible gives Jesus the title “Wonderful Counsellor”. If you learn to listen to Him, you will learn to discern between the good and the bad in the counselling world.
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by Pastor Don
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